


Good Intentions

by pennysparkle



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/F, Pre-Femslash, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5015035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparkle/pseuds/pennysparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was strange that she hadn't thought that before, but for the most part, she'd grown up with other idols, and the rules of popularity dictated that they had to compete with each other. It wasn't an easy environment to make friends in; at times, it could be downright lonely. She used to have no idea if this was what she wanted if she couldn't have any friends, but by that point, people were her fans and they depended on her. It was only pressure that she allowed to break her from her silent suffering in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Intentions

**Author's Note:**

> [Jack](http://milesupshur.tumblr.com) and I are doing a week of P4 prompts! Today's was "costume."

Rise knew how to act bubbly, how to pretend like she was sultry even though she really didn't think it was something she needed to care about at this age, how to pretend to be friendly with people, a sugarcoated sweetness that fans were all too eager to believe, and that naysayers were quick to scoff at. She knew how to smile and act like nothing was wrong, how to encourage people, how to be stern when she wanted her way professionally. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that there was anyone inside of her but  _Risette_ , because it felt like she'd been born to do this, like she'd spent her whole  _life_ doing this...

Only her year back in Inaba had enlightened her. There was more to her than the smiling, infallible idol, but she didn't have to be just plain old Rise Kujikawa either. She was allowed to be complex. She was allowed to be sweet  _or_ mean (though she rarely chose that path). She was allowed to cry. None of this had to define her; she was allowed to grow and change, and most of all, she was allowed to have  _friends_.

It was strange that she hadn't thought that before, but for the most part, she'd grown up with other idols, and the rules of popularity dictated that they had to compete with each other. It wasn't an easy environment to make friends in; at times, it could be downright lonely. She used to have no idea if this was what she wanted if she couldn't have any friends, but by that point, people were her fans and they  _depended_ on her. It was only pressure that she allowed to break her from her silent suffering in the end.

But she was better now. She was stronger, more confident, had her friends and tentatively, a connection of some kind with Kanami—though that department was a little harder. They were both idols, both  _popular_ , both busy.

Still, there was something so nice about her. She felt genuinely warm, and Rise couldn't help wanting to be friends with her, even if their fans would likely clash about it. And she'd never been one to sit around and wait to get what she wanted.

Except that her fingers were currently hovering awkwardly over the buttons of her phone. They'd exchanged numbers, but was was she supposed to say? She had so little experience with making friends here. It might have been easier if she'd ended up in a group, at least; then she might have  _some_ kind of conversation starter...

_hi! this is rise! would u like 2 hang out sometime?_ she eventually typed. Was it too casual? Too  _forward_? All of this stuff was so hard. All her life she'd thought that the act of Risette was her costume and mask to hide behind, but the truth of the matter was that she was so much more accustomed to being her. Being just Rise took a lot of getting used to.

She shouldn't really have worried so much, though. Within a couple seconds, her phone vibrated in her hand, startling her—but already she was checking her messages.

_rise-senpai! i'd love to asap! i have practice tonight tho :-(_

_that's ok! i'll be here for a few more hours. i can walk u home if u like!_

_oh, you don't have to do that..._  Kanami replied again, just as quickly.

Rise frowned. She felt like she was getting so little in response here; maybe it was just Kanami's polite way of blowing her off. There was no way to be sure, but it did have her a little discouraged, and she hesitated to text back, unsure what she could say in response.

_but if you really want to, i would like that! i'll be done at 9!_  came soon afterward, leaving Rise relieved enough to fall forward a little bit on the elbows she'd planted upon her knees.

_ok! i'll meet you then :)! i have 2 get back 2 work now though..._

_me too! i'll see you soon! i'm looking forward to it :-)_

The hours that came after that short exchange were the same blur as they usually were, practicing dance after dance until Rise was sweaty and sore. Then she got to take a nice, hot shower and break for a late dinner that was carefully balanced for nutrition, all during which Inoue would go over the next day's schedule with her. It always left her exhausted afterward, and typically, she'd take a cab home and collapse into bed for a good eight hours without any trouble whatsoever.

But tonight would be different. Instead of doing all of that, she was going to spend time with someone who might be a  _friend_. And by the time she'd finished eating her dinner and Inoue had wandered off, Kanami was apparently already done and had come searching for her.

"Rise-senpai! I hope I'm not too early..." she said as she approached, nervously plucking at her fingers where they twisted together. She was out of her Kanamin Kitchen stage costume, wearing a pair of sweats instead, wig off and hair pulled into twin tails, glasses snugly in place. When she was like this, she seemed so utterly  _different_ from her stage persona—it was a little bit stunning.

"It's fine! I just finished up, actually," Rise said. Her shift from being everyone's beloved idol to just a normal high schooler was a little subtler and harder to hide behind, especially in Tokyo. But she'd gathered her hair up in a damp bun and perched the glasses Teddie had made for her (which she still kept close at hand at all times) on her nose. As for her clothes, after work, it was generally just a hoodie and a pair of jeans—and it felt awkward to wear that sort of thing. It was honestly more of a costume than all the gaudy stage outfits.

"U-um... like I said, you don't have to walk me home!" said Kanami. "But... I think it'd be really fun to spend time with you, Rise-senpai. I've always looked up to you!"

No matter how sudden and unexpected that statement was, it warmed Rise, and she smiled—the special one that wasn't all charming and heart-stopping, but small and pleased. The one she reserved for her friends. "You've done a lot of good work this past year, Kanami. I'm glad to have someone like you as my rival!"

"Wait... rival...?" Kanami asked dubiously.

"I mean... well, not like  _that_." How could she clarify it? It wasn't some kind of competition to her, really—but was there another word to describe it? Not that she could think of, and she had to give up and rephrase in the end. "I'd like to be friends with you, if that's okay."

Kanami nodded, pleased. "Definitely! We just  _have_ to be friends! That's all I've ever wanted!"

She could be so...  _enthusiastic_. It was kind of cute, actually. Rise smiled at her and nodded back. "Should we get going now? I'm not sure where you live, but I'm pretty close by..."

"Oh, me too! A few blocks away," Kanami said. "I'll show you. Although... my apartment isn't the biggest... or the nicest."

"Hey, don't worry about that! I'm actually from a pretty small town, you know? All the fancy stuff here isn't always my style."

"Really...? It's hard to imagine Rise-senpai living out in the country."

Rise giggled and took out her phone, flipping it open to scroll through her pictures. There were a lot from last summer—it felt nice to have reminders of her home and of her friends when she was feeling bad and like this was too hard. But what she presented to Kanami was a simple photo of herself in the uniform she'd donned while working at the tofu shop, hair covered up under a bandana and apron obscuring the majority of her body.

"This is really you?" Kanami asked. She seemed rather breathtaken, somehow.

"Yep! From last summer, when I took a break. I went back home and helped out with my family's tofu shop!"

"Wow! I didn't know you had so many talents, Rise-senpai!"

...  _Talents_? It was probably better not to question it, even though Kanami could be kind of strange. Rise just smiled back, closing her phone and putting it in her purse.

"I guess I was pretty good at it..." she said with a laugh. "Not exactly my dream job though."

"I can't imagine you being better at anything than this... I hope I can be as good as you someday!"

"You're great, Kanami! You've got... a really lovely voice..." Rise trailed off. Was that embarrassing to admit? It was just that sometimes when she was getting ready for bed, she'd keep her music player on, and she could remember once, before she'd left the idol world for Inaba, standing in front of the mirror as a gentle ballad had washed over her, that clear, sweet tone lulling her... Since then, she'd listened to it more times than she could count, completely enamored by Kanami's voice.

At least she didn't seem weirded out. Quite the opposite. "Thank you, Rise-senpai. That means a lot coming from you! I guess we really  _are_ rivals in a way... But just because I want to live up to you!"

Rise smiled. Kanami was really kind, wasn't she...? Everyone expected idols to be catty and mean toward each other, but the fact of the matter was that they all wanted to be accepted by each other. And it warmed Rise to know that Kanami sought her approval just as badly.

"I'm only telling the truth, okay? And you'll have to keep improving! I want us to be rivals for a long time."

Kanami giggled, tilting her head to the side as she watched Rise. "I'd like that a lot. Spending more time with you would be really great! Although... oh. You might have a boyfriend to spend time with or something instead... You and Souji-kun seemed pretty close!" For some reason, she didn't sound all that enthused by the idea.

"Oh, well... I flirt with him, I guess," Rise said, taken aback by the observation. It wasn't that she actively tried to hide it, but still. "I don't think anything is ever going to happen there, though."

"But don't you like him? It'd really hurt me if someone I liked didn't return those feelings..." Kanami sighed.

"It's not like that. He's super cute and probably one of the nicest people I've ever known, but I guess it's just hard to see us together and settled down like that! I'd rather be an idol for as long as I can! It's just too much fun to see how good I can get."

A hand brushed against Rise's, then she found it clasped between Kanami's suddenly as she leaned in with a smile. "I guess I can't complain then! That means I can have Rise-senpai all to myself for a little while!"

It was surprising. But it startled a laugh from Rise too, and she squeezed Kanami's hand back. "Yeah! I'm all yours, Kanami. So long as you can keep up with me!"

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr!](http://bunansa.tumblr.com)


End file.
